登陆注册
5382100000048

第48章 CHAPTER XI(4)

Then he recalled the changed, affrighted look of those eyes as they met his, after the child's rebuff of her advances; how that little incident filled up the tale at which Mrs. Hughes had hinted, in a kind of sorrowful way, as if loath (as a Christian should be) to believe evil. Then that fearful evening, when he had only just saved her from committing suicide, and that nightmare sleep! And now--lost, forsaken, and but just delivered from the jaws of death, she lay dependent for everything on his sister and him--utter strangers a few weeks ago. Where was her lover? Could he be easy and happy? Could he grow into perfect health, with these great sins pressing on his conscience with a strong and hard pain? Or had he a conscience?" Into whole labyrinths of social ethics Mr. Benson's thoughts wandered, when his sister entered suddenly and abruptly. "What does the doctor say? Is she better?" "Oh, yes! she's better," answered Miss Benson, sharp and short. Her brother looked at her in dismay. She bumped down into a chair in a cross, disconcerted manner. They were both silent for a few minutes, only Miss Benson whistled and clucked alternately. "What is the matter, Faith? You say she is better." "Why, Thurstan, there is something so shocking the matter, that I cannot tell you." Mr. Benson changed colour with affright. All things possible and impossible crossed his mind but the right one. I said, "all things possible"; I made a mistake. He never believed Ruth to be more guilty than she seemed. "Faith, I wish you would tell me, and not bewilder me with those noises of yours," said he nervously. "I beg your pardon; but something so shocking has just been discovered--Idon't know how to word it--she will have a child. The doctor says so." She was allowed to make noises unnoticed for a few minutes. Her brother did not speak. At last she wanted his sympathy. "Isn't it shocking, Thurstan? You might have knocked me down with a straw when he told me." "Does she know?" "Yes; and I am not sure that that isn't the worst part of all." "How?--what do you mean?" "Oh, I was just beginning to have a good opinion of her; but I'm afraid she is very depraved. After the doctor was gone, she pulled the bed-curtain aside, and looked as if she wanted to speak to me. (I can't think how she heard, for we were close to the window, and spoke very low.) Well, I went to her, though I really had taken quite a turn against her. And she whispered, quite eagerly, 'Did he say I should have a baby?' Of course I could not keep it from her; but I thought it my duty to look as cold and severe as I could. She did not seem to understand how it ought to be viewed, but took it just as if she had a right to have a baby. She said, 'Oh, my God, I thank Thee! Oh, I will be so good!' I had no patience with her then, so I left the room." "Who is with her?" "Mrs. Hughes. She is not seeing the thing in a moral light, as I should have expected." Mr. Benson was silent again. After some time he began-- "Faith, I don't see this affair quite as you do. I believe I am right." "You surprise me, brother! I don't understand you." "Wait awhile! I want to make my feelings very clear to you, but I don't know where to begin, or how to express myself." "It is, indeed, an extraordinary subject for us to have to talk about;but, if once I get clear of this girl, I'll wash my hands of all such cases again." Her brother was not attending to her; he was reducing his own ideas to form. "Faith, do you know I rejoice in this child's advent?" "May God forgive you, Thurstan!--if you know what you are saying. But, surely, it is a temptation, dear Thurstan." "I do not think it is a delusion. The sin appears to me to be quite distinct from its consequences." "Sophistry--and a temptation," said Miss Benson decidedly. "No, it is not," said her brother, with equal decision. "In the eye of God, she is exactly the same as if the life she has led had left no trace behind. We knew her errors before, Faith." "Yes, but not this disgrace--this badge of her shame!" "Faith, Faith! let me beg of you not to speak so of the little innocent babe, who may be God's messenger to lead her back to Him. Think again of her first words--the burst of nature from her heart! Did she not turn to God, and enter into a covenant with Him--'I will be so good'? Why, it draws her out of herself! If her life has hitherto been self-seeking and wickedly thoughtless, here is the very instrument to make her forget herself, and be thoughtful for another. Teach her (and God will teach her, if man does not come between) to reverence her child; and this reverence will shut out sin,--will be purification." He was very much excited; he was even surprised at his own excitement;but his thoughts and meditations through the long afternoon had prepared his mind for this manner of viewing the subject. "These are quite new ideas to me," said Miss Benson coldly. "I think you, Thurstan, are the first person I ever heard rejoicing over the birth of an illegitimate child. It appears to me, I must own, rather questionable morality." "I do not rejoice. I have been all this afternoon mourning over the sin which has blighted this young creature; I have been dreading lest, as she recovered consciousness, there should be a return of her despair. I have been thinking of every holy word, every promise to the penitent--of the tenderness which led the Magdalen aright. I have been feeling, severely and reproachfully, the timidity which has hitherto made me blink all encounter with evils of this particular kind. O Faith! once for all, do not accuse me of questionable morality, when I am trying more than ever I did in my life to act as my blessed Lord would have done." He was very much agitated. His sister hesitated, and then she spoke more softly than before-- "But, Thurstan, everything might have been done to 'lead her right' (as you call it), without this child, this miserable offspring of sin." "The world has, indeed, made such children miserable, innocent as they are; but I doubt if this be according to the will of God, unless it be His punishment for the parents' guilt; and even then the world's way of treatment is too apt to harden the mother's natural love into something like hatred. Shame, and the terror of friends' displeasure, turn her mad--defile her holiest instincts; and, as for the fathers--God forgive them! I cannot--at least, not just now." Miss Benson thought on what her brother said. At length she asked, "Thurstan (remember I'm not convinced), how would you have this girl treated according to your theory?" "It will require some time, and much Christian love, to find out the best way. I know I'm not very wise; but the way I think it would be right to act in, would be this----" He thought for some time before he spoke, and then said-- "She has incurred a responsibility--that we both acknowledge. She is about to become a mother, and have the direction and guidance of a little tender life. I fancy such a responsibility must be serious and solemn enough, without making it into a heavy and oppressive burden, so that human nature recoils from bearing it. While we do all we can to strengthen her sense of responsibility, I would likewise do all we can to make her feel that it is responsibility for what may become a blessing." "Whether the children are legitimate or illegitimate?" asked Miss Benson dryly. "Yes!" said her brother firmly. "The more I think, the more I believe Iam right. No one," said he, blushing faintly as he spoke, "can have a greater recoil from proffigacy than I have. You yourself have not greater sorrow over this young creature's sin than I have the difference is this, you confuse the consequences with the sin." "I don't understand metaphysics." "I am not aware that I am talking metaphysics. I can imagine that if the present occasion be taken rightly, and used well, all that is good in her may be raised to a height unmeasured but by God; while all that is evil and dark may, by His blessing, fade and disappear in the pure light of her child's presence.--Oh, Father! listen to my prayer, that her redemption may date from this time. Help us to speak to her in the loving spirit of thy Holy Son!" The tears were full in his eyes; he almost trembled in his earnestness.

同类推荐
  • 霞外杂俎

    霞外杂俎

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Cupid's Understudy

    Cupid's Understudy

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 维摩诘所说经注

    维摩诘所说经注

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Of the Conduct of the Understanding

    Of the Conduct of the Understanding

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 黄箓救苦十斋转经仪

    黄箓救苦十斋转经仪

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 宠溺无边:千亿总裁追逃妻

    宠溺无边:千亿总裁追逃妻

    婚礼之前,苏黎亲眼看见自己的未婚夫江惟仁和别的女人滚落在一起,她气得当场悔婚,让他连同他背后那名动京城的江家都出了大洋相。再见面,江惟仁已经是声名狼藉的花心总裁了,偏还摆出一副受害者的模样,骗谁呀?啊?是自己弄错了?他没有背叛自己?怎么办?逃呗!要是被江少抓住,只会剩下两条路:扑倒,睡到死!“求求你放手吧!我们不可能了!”“不!就算是折磨到死,我也不要放手!因为你是我的命!”江惟仁阴狠决绝的说。
  • 嫡女谋后

    嫡女谋后

    裔长乐被亲生母亲和哥哥一晚毒药害死。只因传闻她是灾星!死后被弃后山荒坟,结果阴差阳错裔长乐的前世女侯骊姬记忆苏醒,助她一臂之力,她得以重生。这一次,她带着偶然闪现的惊人预知力,定要让那些人千百倍偿还之!【纯属虚构,请勿模仿】"
  • 综艺为王

    综艺为王

    综艺节目为主,《中餐厅》、《我们来了》、《极速前进》、《奔跑吧兄弟》、《极限挑战》、《我们的征途》、《青春旅行社》、《全员加速中》等,每个节目都会写全,不喜误入!本故事纯属虚构,如有雷同,那不可能!
  • 孤独是你的必修课

    孤独是你的必修课

    不要想着用什么样的姿态,不要刻意去学别人的方式,你有你自己的东西,做你自己就好了。我们总会遇到很多孤独且困难的时刻,那时我们都觉得自己过不去了,但我们都过来了。正是因为经历了无数个这样的时刻,我们才能学会坦然,才能知道应该怎么样面对接下来的可能会接踵而来的困难。如果你想去实现梦想,孤独是你的必修课。如果不能沉下心来,就没有办法去实现它,因为那绝对不是一件容易的事情。孤独能让你更坚强。你只要记得,你不是一个人在苦逼,那些看起来坚定的人,在背后也下定了无数的决心。而你总会在某次下定决心之后,一路飞奔再也不回头,什么困难都 打不倒你。
  • 蕉轩续录

    蕉轩续录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar

    Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar

    Here's a lively, hilarious, not-so-reverent crash course through the great philosophical traditions, schools, concepts, and thinkers. It's Philosophy 101 for everyone who knows not to take all this heavy stuff too seriously. Some of the Big Ideas are Existentialism (what do Hegel and Bette Midler have in common?), Philosophy of Language (how to express what it's like being stranded on a desert island with Halle Berry), Feminist Philosophy (why, in the end, a man is always a man), and much more. Finally—it all makes sense!
  • 网王之宿命的相遇

    网王之宿命的相遇

    【网王系列】穿越之前的柒月就是家人培养出来的机器,而穿越之后的柒月,却是家族里的宝贝疙瘩,还同时与许多世家都有关系,可以说是日本太皇太后一样的角色。当柒月知道她另一个身份之后,是选择离开还是留下呢?谁都不知道,记忆的苏醒是好还是坏也没有人知道……
  • 女界鬼域记

    女界鬼域记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 恢国篇

    恢国篇

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 佛说秘密八名陀罗尼经

    佛说秘密八名陀罗尼经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。