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第12章 Playing Courier(4)

The Mayor came at last,and then there was no trouble;for the minute he had convened the Supreme Court—they always do whenever there is valuable property in dispute—and got everything shipshape and sentries posted,and had prayer by the chaplain,my unsealed letter was brought and opened,and there wasn't anything in it but some photographs;because,as I remembered now,I had taken out the letter of credit so as to make room for the photographs,and had put the letter in my other pocket,which I proved to everybody's satisfaction by fetching it out and showing it with a good deal of exultation.So then the court looked at each other in a vacant kind of way,and then at me,and then at each other,again,and finally let me go,but said it was imprudent for me to be at large,and asked me what my profession was.I said I was a courier.They lifted up their eyes in a kind of reverent way and said,“Du lieber Gott!”and I said a word of courteous thanks for their apparent admiration and hurried off to the bank.

However,being a courier was already making me a great stickler for order and system and one thing at a time and each thing in its own proper turn;so I passed by the bank and branched off and started for the two lacking members of the Expedition.A cab lazied by,and I took it upon persuasion.I gained no speed by this,but it was a reposeful turn-out and I liked reposefulness.The week-long jubilations over the six hundredth anniversary of the birth of Swiss liberty and the Signing of the Compact was at flood-tide,and all the streets were clothed in fluttering flags.

The horse and the driver had been drunk three days and nights,and had known no stall nor bed meantime.They looked as I felt—dreamy and seedy.But we arrived in course of time.I went in and rang,and asked a housemaid to rush out the lacking members.She said something which I did not understand,and I returned to the chariot.The girl had probably told me that those people did not belong on her floor,and that it would be judicious for me to go higher,and ring from floor to floor till I found them;for in those Swiss flats there does not seem to be any way to find the right family but to be patient and guess your way along up.I calculated that I must wait fifteen minutes,there being three details inseparable from an occasion of this sort:1,put on hats and come down and climb in;2,return of one to get “my other glove”;3,presently,return of the other one to fetch “my French Verbs at a Glance.”I would muse during the fifteen minutes and take it easy.

A very still and blank interval ensued,and then I felt a hand on my shoulder and started.The intruder was a policeman.I glanced up and perceived that there was new scenery.There was a good deal of a crowd,and they had that pleased and interested look which such a crowd wears when they see that somebody is out of luck.The horse was asleep,and so was the driver,and some boys had hung them and me full of gaudy decorations stolen from the innumerable banner-poles.It was a scandalous spectacle.The officer said:

“I'm sorry,but we can't have you sleeping here all day.”

I was wounded,and said with dignity:

“I beg your pardon,I was not sleeping;I was thinking.”

“Well,you can think if you want to,but you've got to think to yourself;you disturb the whole neighborhood.”

It was a poor joke,and it made the crowd laugh.I snore at night sometimes,but it is not likely that I would do such a thing in the daytime and in such a place.The officer undecorated us,and seemed sorry for our friendlessness,and really tried to be humane,but he said we mustn't stop there any longer or he would have to charge us rent—it was the law,he said,and he went on to say in a sociable way that I was looking pretty moldy,and he wished he knew—

I shut him off pretty austerely,and said I hoped one might celebrate a little these days,especially when one was personally concerned.

“Personally?”he asked.“How?”

“Because six hundred years ago an ancestor of mine signed the compact.”

He reflected a moment,then looked me over and said:

“Ancestor!It's my opinion you signed it yourself.For of all the old ancient relics that ever I—but never mind about that.What is it you are waiting here for so long?”

I said:

“I'm not waiting here so long at all.I'm waiting fifteen minutes till they forget a glove and a book and go back and get them.”Then I told him who they were that I had come for.

He was very obliging,and began to shout inquiries to the tiers of heads and shoulders projecting from the windows above us.Then a woman away up there sang out:

“Oh,they?Why,I got them a cab and they left here long ago—half past eight,I should say.”

It was annoying.I glanced at my watch,but didn't say anything.The officer said:

“It is a quarter of twelve,you see.You should have inquired better.You have been asleep three-quarters of an hour,and in such a sun as this.You are baked—baked black.It is wonderful.And you will miss your train,perhaps.You interest me greatly.What is your occupation?”

I said I was a courier.It seemed to stun him,and before he could come to we were gone.

When I arrived in the third story of the hotel I found our quarters vacant.I was not surprised.The moment a courier takes his eye off his tribe they go shopping.The nearer it is to train-time the surer they are to go.I sat down to try and think out what I had best do next,but presently the hall-boy found me there,and said the Expedition had gone to the station half an hour before.It was the first time I had known them to do a rational thing,and it was very confusing.This is one of the things that make a courier's life so difficult and uncertain.Just as matters are going the smoothest,his people will strike a lucid interval,and down go all his arrangements to wreck and ruin.

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