登陆注册
5419900000103

第103章

PRETT.Why did the gods make him a manager?

THES.No--no--what are you talking about? What do you mean?

DAPH.I've got it--no don't tell us.

ALL.No--no--because--becauseTHES.[annoyed] It isn't a conundrum.It's misanthropical question.

DAPH.[Who is sitting with Spar.to the annoyance of Nice.who is crying alone] I'm sure I don't know.We do not want you.Don't distress yourself on our account--we are getting on very comfortably--aren't we Sparkeion.

SPAR.We are so happy that we don't miss the lobster or the claret.What are lobster and claret compared with the society of those we love? [embracing Daphne.]

DAPH.Why, Nicemis, love, you are eating nothing.Aren't you happy dear?

NICE.[spitefully] You are quite welcome to my share of everything.I intend to console myself with the society of my manager.[takes Thespis' arm affectionately].

THES.Here I say--this won't do, you know--I can't allow it--at least before my company--besides, you are half-married to Sparkeion.Sparkeion, here's your half-wife impairing my influence before my company.Don't you know the story of the gentleman who undermined his influence by associating with his inferiors?

ALL.Yes, yes--we know it.

PREP.[formally] I do not know it.It's ever thus.Doomed to disappointment from my earliest years.[Stup.endeavours to console him]

THES.There--that's enough.Preposteros--you shall hear it.

I once knew a chap who discharged a function On the North South East West Diddlesex Junction.

He was conspicuous exceeding, For his affable ways, and his easy breeding.

Although a chairman of directions, He was hand in glove with the ticket inspectors.

He tipped the guards with brand new fivers, And sang little songs to the engine drivers.

'Twas told to me with great compunction, By one who had discharged with unction A chairman of directors function On the North South East West Diddlesex Junction.

Fol diddle, lol diddle, lol lol lay.

Each Christmas day he gave each stoker A silver shovel and a golden poker.

He'd button holw flowers for the ticket sorters And rich Bath-buns for the outside porters.

He'd moun the clerks on his first-class hunters, And he build little villas for the road-side shunters, And if any were fond of pigeon shooting, He'd ask them down to his place at Tooting.

Twas told to me....etc.

In course of time there spread a rumour That he did all this from a sense of humour.

So instead of signalling and stoking, They gave themselves up to a course of joking.

Whenever they knew that he was riding, They shunted his train on a lonely siding, Or stopped all night in the middle of a tunnel, On the plea that the boiler was a-coming through the funnel.

Twas told to me...etc.

It he wished to go to Perth or Stirling, His train through several counties whirling, Would set him down in a fit of larking, At four a.m.in the wilds of Barking.

This pleased his whim and seemed to strike it, But the general public did not like it.

The receipts fell, after a few repeatings, And he got it hot at the annual meetings.

Twas told to me...etc.

He followed out his whim with vigour, The shares went down to a nominal figure.

These are the sad results proceeding From his affable ways and his easy breeding.

The line, with its rais and guards and peelers, Was sold for a song to marine store dealers The shareholders are all in the work'us, And he sells pipe-lights in the Regent Circus.

Twas told to me...etc.

It's very hard.As a man I am naturally of an easy disposition.

As a manager, I am compelled to hold myself aloof, that my influence may not be deteriorated.As a man I am inclined to fraternize with the pauper--as a manager I am compelled to walk around like this: Don't know yah.Don't know yah.Don't know yah.

[Strides haughtily about the stage.Jupiter, Mars, and Apollo, in full Olympian costume appear on the three broken columns.

Thespians scream.]

JUP, MARS, AP.Presumptuous mortal.

THES.Don't know ya.Don't know yah.

JUP, MARS, AP.[seated on broken pillars] Presumptuous mortal.

THES.I do not know you.I do not know you.

JUP, MARS, AP.Presumptuous mortal.

THES.Remove this person.

[Stup and Prep seize Ap and Mars]

JUP.Stop, you evidently don't know me.Allow me to offer you my card.[Throws flash paper]

THES.Ah yes, it's very pretty, but we don't want any at present.

When we do our Christmas piece, I'll let you know.[Changing his manner] Look here, you know this is a private party and we haven't the pleasure of your acquaintance.There are a good many other mountains about, if you must have a mountain all to yourself.Don't make me let myself down before my company.

[Resuming] Don't know yah, Don't know yah.

JUP.I am Jupiter, the king of the gods.This is Apollo.This is Mars.[All kneel to them except Thespis]

THES.Oh.Then as I'm a respectable man, and rather particular about the company I keep, I think I'll go.

JUP.No--no--stop a bit.We want to consult you on a matter of great importance.There.Now we are alone.Who are you?

THES.I am Thespis of the Thessalian Theatres.

JUP.The very man we want.Now as a judge of what the public likes are you impressed with my appearance as father of the gods?

THES.Well to be candid with you, I am not.In fact I'm disappointed.

JUP.Disappointed?

THES.Yes, you see you're so much out of repair.No, you don't come up to my idea of the part.Bless you, I've played you often.

JUP.You have.

THES.To be sure I have.

JUP.And how have you dressed the part.

THES.Fine commanding party in the prime of life.Thunderbolt--full beard--dignified manner--a good eal of this sort of thin "Don't know ya.Don't know yah.Don't know yah.

JUP.[much affected] I--I'm very much obliged to you.It's very good of you.I--I--I used to be like that.I can't tell you how much I feel it.And do you find I'm an impressive character to play?

THES.Well no, I can't say you are.In fact we don't you you much out of burlesque.

JUP.Burlesque!

THES.Yes, it's a painful subject, drop it, drop it.The fact is, you are not the gods you were--you're behind your age.

同类推荐
  • 百家针灸歌赋

    百家针灸歌赋

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 佛说出生无边门陀罗尼仪轨

    佛说出生无边门陀罗尼仪轨

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 摄大乘论

    摄大乘论

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 石药尔雅

    石药尔雅

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Wyoming

    Wyoming

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 飞狐外传(全两册)(纯文字新修版)

    飞狐外传(全两册)(纯文字新修版)

    《飞狐外传》是《雪山飞狐》的“前传”,叙述胡斐过去的事迹。作品以少年游侠胡斐的经历为线索,讲述了一段精彩的武林故事。如果说郭靖是金庸笔下的“为国为民”的“侠”的理想的化身,胡斐则是金庸“锄强扶弱”的理想的化身。他可以为素不相识的一家三口打抱不平,不为所爱之人的求恳所动。《飞狐外传》一书讲述了,少年英豪胡斐,为替惨死的穷苦百姓钟阿四一家伸张正义,一路追杀恶霸凤天南。涉世未深的英雄少年不惧巨奸大恶的权势,不为荣华富贵所动,一心只为伸张天理公义。最终恶人虽然得诛,深爱他的义妹程灵素却为救爱人而死,而他念兹在兹的意中人袁紫衣也早已皈依佛门。《飞狐外传》情节离奇曲折,爱情故事凄婉动人,读来令人怅惘。
  • 无限之千面骰子

    无限之千面骰子

    小千世界如筹码,中千世界似庄家,大千世界若赌桌,三千世界凑一局!一局赌赛定胜负,生死无悔两茫茫!瞒天过海偷日月,大道生灭由谁定?凌云遥指九重天!一介弥天赌客、亦是泼天祸殃,从宇宙之坟爬出,走向无尽的虚空,以残躯了结前尘往事。......玲珑骰子,千窍贪心!心中骰子,妄赌天下!欲以凡俗之基本,奠定红尘之载荷!一颗骰子涵盖千秋万年、亿兆星河!
  • 儿科要略

    儿科要略

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 在异界开挂的冒险之旅

    在异界开挂的冒险之旅

    在一个与《冒险岛》背景类似,却又不完全一样的世界,迎来了一个开挂的穿越者。。。全职全屏,无延迟,全屏采药挖矿,无敌,无限技能。。。装备样式不喜欢又舍不得属性怎么?对了,还好还有点装商城(笑~~)好吧,此作已坑,以上的简介全作废。这其实是一个有着《冒险岛》职业技能的咸鱼穿越者,游历各个世界的故事。PS:本书已太监!
  • 我当驴友的诡异经历

    我当驴友的诡异经历

    我是一个野外探险俱乐部的驴友,在俱乐部里的代号是“玄子”。那天,我在论坛灌水帖子里发现了一个叫做“中国第一鬼村封门纪实录”的帖子,粗粗的看了一下点击率,才两千多。好奇心驱使下,我点开了论坛的帖子。中国第一鬼村封门村到底埋藏了什么秘密?1963年到1981年期间封门村到底发生了什么事情?村民们为何集体迁出?被勾起好奇心的我背上背包去鬼村探险,九死一生才回到城市。为了分享这个经历,我决定将这个故事告诉所有人……
  • 肯堂医论

    肯堂医论

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 等你来

    等你来

    有的人见上一面就会误了终生,比如宋佳和管羽风。宋佳是典型的狮子座女生,哪怕爱到骨子里,也要保持傲气,你若不来,我可以等,但绝不会送上门去。偏偏让她遇上喜欢欲擒故纵的管羽风,历尽艰难最终还是没能在一起。虽说亲情难舍占了很大原因,但终究还是败给了自己骄傲的性情。虽然讲的主要是管羽风的故事,但里面的配角,不管是孙小鱼还是沈南,或者唐茜,他们心里都有一句潜台词,那就是“我在等你来”。可是这句话,自始至终,谁也不曾说出口。
  • Gone With The Wind

    Gone With The Wind

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 我也很想他

    我也很想他

    “纯恋小说”代表作家李李翔:在这个孤独的城市,只有你是我温暖的归宿。经历过背叛、经历过伤痛、经历过迷茫,你终将长大、终将变得坚强。每个人心中,都有一段与生命同在的青春爱恋难以磨灭。而思念至深时,我们将不自觉活在世界的中心。那天下午,辛意田偶遇谢得。一瞬间,仿佛时空倒置,她又见到了梦中的那个人。但那个人性格开朗阳光,谢得却脾气古怪执拗——相似的外表下,却是迥然不同的灵魂。辛意田以为自己可以爱上另一个人,那个人却仿佛在她心中扎了根,让爱变得如此痛苦。他也试图走近她,却因为“那个人”的存在,不得不又一次次离开。
  • 冰山总裁的神秘小娇妻

    冰山总裁的神秘小娇妻

    作为一个神,由于偷偷跑到人间,爱上了个人类,怎么办?当然是死缠烂打了……小剧场:敢问季罹最怕谁,非蔓桐不可,看着抱着他大腿的女孩,冰冷的表情似乎出现了裂痕……“馒头是吧你到底要做什么” “做你”