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第10章

"Your sixth Aunt, Yin's woman, you know, you drank her milk. Her granddaughter, three years old, fell in the river last year and drowned."

"Oh," I said, not daring to say anything louder.

"Can you hear me?" he said.

"There's noise on the line. I'm listening …" I said, "I'm listening."

"Luckily her daughter-in-law's pregnant again. It's Kunsheng and his wife. They convinced someone at the county hospital to look at her under the table, and she's got twins, a boy and a girl."

Now there's a great blessing after a disaster. My heart relaxed for a moment. But then uncle said, "They're on their way to the provincial capital right now …"

And in an instant I was anxious again. My voice broke and started to tremble as I said, "What, what's up?"

"Problems with the birth. Doctor says they need a caesarean … Diu, find them a good hospital, get those kids born safely, or it's the end of the world for that family."

I gritted my teeth.

"OK," I said, "OK."

I've got to pull strings again, I said to myself. Who knows who? But I have to find someone, I can't without. Sometimes I felt that there really was something etched on my face, that I sold my face for a living, that the villagers had sent me here to sell my face. I implored people all around me and used all kinds of contacts, and finally got the woman into a hospital. Then I secretly breathed a sigh of relief. I felt I had finally done something real for the villagers.

But just a few days later, it blew up again. That afternoon, just as I finished class, sixth Auntie's son came to find me at the college. The poor bugger stood outside the classroom, his face screwed up in misery like a shrunken pumpkin, his forehead so lined with wrinkles it looked like a chunk of dried ginger. My heart sank as I asked him, "Babies born?"

"Yes," he said.

"A boy and a girl?"

"… Yes," he said.

"That's wonderful," I said, and then without warning he started to slowly kneel down on the ground, outside the classroom. He knelt down before me, his face streaming with tears.

"Kunsheng," I said, "What are you doing?"

"I saw the King of Hell," he said. He looked tormented.

"Who …?" I said, "… what?"

"The King of Hell has come to take him away …" he murmured.

"Get up, get up," I said, "Now what's going on?"

"Brother, you're a noble, you've studied a lot, give the kid a name," he said.

"Get up, now!" I told him.

Suddenly he dived forwards to cling to my legs. "Cerebral palsy," he cried, "The Doctor says it's cerebral palsy. Brother, save my son!"

My brain short-circuited with a bang. I didn't know what to do.

He clutched at my legs. "Brother, the girl's past help, forget her. But the boy isn't so bad. You have to help me save him, please."

I coaxed him to stand up. At the same time I felt completely beside myself. All I said was, "Don't panic. We'll think of something, we'll think of something …" Suddenly I realised that I was looking at a bottomless pit. He wanted to drag me down into an abyss. Scared witless, the idea of just running away crossed my mind.

Kunsheng was quite bewildered. Like a madman he tugged at me, imploring me, "Diu, brother, I've nowhere else to turn, I've only got you. Your sister-in-law's had her belly cut open, she's still in hospital, the little ones are in electric ovens. In one night we spent five thousand seven hundred yuan on medical bills! I only brought three thousand yuan, and that was borrowed. They say they want another twenty thousand yuan or they'll stop the medicines! Brother, I don't want the girl. Forget her. But the boy has a chance. Save him!" as he spoke, he knelt down again.

I dragged him up and wouldn't let him slide down again. "Cerebral palsy?"

"Cerebral palsy," he said mechanically.

I kept on coaxing him to stand. "Don't kneel down. Come on, I'm taking you somewhere …"

This was a bottomless pit. I couldn't borrow any more money, I actually couldn't get my hands on any. I told myself, I've lost all my dignity. My "face" is already as thin as a sheet of paper, I can't get in any more debt. I led him onto the main street, and we floundered on through the surging crowds of people. It grew dark, and coloured lights surrounded us. Neon lights flickered all around, dazzling us, dizzying us. I looked up at the sky—if only Heaven would rain some money down on us. But no money rained down. He clung to my side and walked doggedly on, but all I wanted was to get rid of him. As we walked I tried to think of a way to lose him. Honestly, I would have shaken him off and escaped at any moment.

We walked on and on until I thought of a way to dump him. I led him to a newspaper office, pointed at the door, and said, "Kunsheng, it's not that I don't want to help you. I only get seventy-nine yuan a month, brother. People from the village ring me from morning till night. I'm already dead broke. I couldn't get that much money if my life depended on it. But I've thought of a plan for you."

He stared at me, his eyes blurry. "You mean, rob the bank?"

Rob the bank? A dreadful thought flitted through my mind. I had seen the bank too, I had seen the big sign outside saying, "People's Bank of China" … Yes, when people are desperate they start to think crooked.

"That's madness," I said, "who said anything about robbing the bank? Look in front of you. It's a newspaper office. Don't kneel in front of me, that's useless. I'll write you a sign, go to the door of the newspaper office, kneel down there, hold up the sign. When people come out, call out to them and weep a bit. If the newspaper prints your story, maybe someone will help you."

He looked at me helplessly. "Brother, what about you?"

"I'm going to try and borrow some money for you now, as much as I can. Remember, don't get up until they agree to print your story," I said, and with that, I fled.

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