The scar which my late amours had left was still bleeding, and I
was glad to think that I should be able to restore the young Marseillaise to the paternal hearth without any painful partings or vain regrets. I enjoyed in advance my meritorious action, and I was quite vain to see my self-restraint come to such a pitch that I was able to live in close intimacy with a pretty girl without any other desire than that of rescuing her from the shame into which she might have fallen if she had traveled alone. She felt my kindness to her, and said,--
"I am sure M. de la Croix would not have abandoned me if he had not met you at Milan."
"You are very charitable, but I am unable to share in your good opinion. To my mind Croce has behaved in a rascally manner, to say the least of it, for in spite of your many charms he had no right to count on me in the matter. I will not say that he openly scorned you, since he might have acted from despair; but I am sure he must have ceased to love you, or he could never have abandoned you thus."
"I am sure of the contrary. He saw that he had no means of providing for me, and he had to choose between leaving me and killing himself."
"Not at all. He ought to have sold all he had and sent you back to Marseilles. Your journey to Genoa would not have cost much, and thence you could have gone to Marseilles by sea. Croce counted on my having been interested in your pretty face, and he was right; but you must see that he exposed you to a great risk.
You must not be offended if I tell you the plain truth. If your face had not inspired me with a lively interest in you, I should have only felt ordinary compassion on reading your appeal, and this would not have been enough to force me to great sacrifices of time and trouble. But I have no business to be blaming Croce.
You are hurt; I see you are still in love with him."
"I confess it, and I pity him. As for myself, I only pity my cruel destiny. I shall never see him again, but I shall never love anyone else, for my mind is made up. I shall go into a convent and expiate my sins. My father will pardon me, for he is a man of an excellent heart. I have been the victim of love; my will was not my own. The seductive influence of passion ravished my reason from me, and the only thing that I blame myself for is for not having fortified my mind against it. Otherwise I cannot see that I have sinned deeply, but I confess I have done wrong."
"You would have gone with Croce from Milan if he had asked you, even on foot."
"Of course; it would have been my duty; but he would not expose me to the misery that he saw before us."
"Nay, you were miserable enough already. I am sure that if you meet him at Marseilles you will go with him again."
"Never. I begin to get back my reason. I am free once more, and the day will come when I shall thank God for having forgotten him."
Her sincerity pleased me, and as I knew too well the power of love I pitied her from my heart. For two hours she told me the history of her unfortunate amour, and as she told it well I began to take a liking for her.
We reached Tortona in the evening, and with the intention of sleeping there I told Clairmont to get us a supper to my taste.
While we were eating it I was astonished at my false niece's wit, and she made a good match for me at the meal, for she had an excellent appetite, and drank as well as any girl of her age. As we were leaving the table, she made a jest which was so much to the point that I burst out laughing, and her conquest was complete. I embraced her in the joy of my heart, and finding my kiss ardently returned, I asked her without any, circumlocution if she was willing that we should content ourselves with one bed.
At this invitation her face fell, and she replied, with an air of submission which kills desire,--
"Alas! you can do what you like. If liberty is a precious thing, it is most precious of all in love."
"There is no need for this disobedience. You have inspired me with a tender passion, but if you don't share my feelings my love for you shall be stifled at its birth. There are two beds here, as you see; you can choose which one you will sleep in."
"Then I will sleep in that one, but I shall be very sorry if you are not so kind to me in the future as you have been in the past."
"Don't be afraid. You shall not find me un worthy of your esteem.
