BRINGS BACK SAM, HIS WIFE, AUNT, AND DIAMOND, TOLONDON
We pleased ourselves during the honeymoon with forming plans for our life in London, and a pretty paradise did we build for ourselves! Well, we were but forty years old between us; and, for my part, I never found any harm come of castle-building, but a great deal of pleasure.
Before I left London I had, to say the truth, looked round me for a proper place, befitting persons of our small income; and Gus Hoskins and I, who hunted after office-hours in couples, bad fixed on a very snug little cottage in Camden Town, where there was a garden that certain SMALL PEOPLE might play in when they came: a horse and gig-house, if ever we kept one,--and why not, in a few years?--and a fine healthy air, at a reasonable distance from 'Change; all for 30L.a year.I had described this little spot to Mary as enthusiastically as Sancho describes Lizias to Don Quixote; and my dear wife was delighted with the prospect of housekeeping there, vowed she would cook all the best dishes herself (especially jam-pudding, of which I confess I am very fond), and promised Gus that he should dine with us at Clematis Bower every Sunday: only he must not smoke those horrid cigars.As for Gus, he vowed he would have a room in the neighbourhood too, for he could not bear to go back to Bell Lane, where we two had been so happy together; and so good-natured Mary said she would ask my sister Winny to come and keep her company.At which Hoskins blushed, and said, "Pooh! nonsense now."But all our hopes of a happy snug Clematis Lodge were dashed to the ground on our return from our little honeymoon excursion; when Mrs.Hoggarty informed us that she was sick of the country, and was determined to go to London with her dear nephew and niece, and keep house for them, and introduce them to her friends in the metropolis.
What could we do? We wished her at--Bath: certainly not in London.But there was no help for it; and we were obliged to bring her: for, as my mother said, if we offended her, her fortune would go out of ourfamily; and were we two young people not likely to want it?
So we came to town rather dismally in the carriage, posting the whole way; for the carriage must be brought, and a person of my aunt's rank in life could not travel by the stage.And I had to pay 14L.for the posters, which pretty nearly exhausted all my little hoard of cash.
First we went into lodgings,--into three sets in three weeks.We quarrelled with the first landlady, because my aunt vowed that she cut a slice off the leg of mutton which was served for our dinner; from the second lodgings we went because aunt vowed the maid would steal the candles; from the third we went because Aunt Hoggarty came down to breakfast the morning after our arrival with her face shockingly swelled and bitten by--never mind what.To cut a long tale short, I was half mad with the continual choppings and changings, and the long stories and scoldings of my aunt.As for her great acquaintances, none of them were in London; and she made it a matter of quarrel with me that I had not introduced her to John Brough, Esquire, M.P., and to Lord and Lady Tiptoff, her relatives.
Mr.Brough was at Brighton when we arrived in town; and on his return I did not care at first to tell our Director that I had brought my aunt with me, or mention my embarrassments for money.He looked rather serious when perforce I spoke of the latter to him and asked for an advance; but when he heard that my lack of money had been occasioned by the bringing of my aunt to London, his tone instantly changed."That, my dear boy, alters the question; Mrs.Hoggarty is of an age when all things must be yielded to her.Here are a hundred pounds; and I beg you to draw upon me whenever you are in the least in want of money." This gave me breathing-time until she should pay her share of the household expenses.And the very next day Mr.and Mrs.John Brough, in their splendid carriage- and-four, called upon Mrs.Hoggarty and my wife at our lodgings in Lamb's Conduit Street.
It was on the very day when my poor aunt appeared with her face in that sad condition; and she did not fail to inform Mrs.Brough of the cause, and to state that at Castle Hoggarty, or at her country place in Somersetshire, she had never heard or thought of such vile odious things.
"Gracious heavens!" shouted John Brough, Esquire, "a lady of your rank to suffer in this way!--the excellent relative of my dear boy, Titmarsh! Never, madam--never let it be said that Mrs.Hoggarty of Castle Hoggarty should be subject to such horrible humiliation, while John Brough has a home to offer her,--a humble, happy, Christian home, madam; though unlike, perhaps, the splendour to which you have been accustomed in the course of your distinguished career.Isabella my love!--Belinda! speak to Mrs.Hoggarty.Tell her that John Brough's house is hers from garret to cellar.I repeat it, madam, from garret to cellar.I desire--I insist--I order, that Mrs.Hoggarty of Castle Hoggarty's trunks should be placed this instant in my carriage! Have the goodness to look to them yourself, Mrs.Titmarsh, and see that your dear aunt's comforts are better provided for than they have been."Mary went away rather wondering at this order.But, to be sure, Mr.Brough was a great man, and her Samuel's benefactor; and though the silly child absolutely began to cry as she packed and toiled at Aunt's enormous valises, yet she performed the work, and came down with a smiling face to my aunt, who was entertaining Mr.and Mrs.Brough with a long and particular account of the balls at the Castle, in Dublin, in Lord Charleville's time.
"I have packed the trunks, Aunt, but I am not strong enough to bring them down," said Mary.
