登陆注册
5197700000023

第23章

A JESTER AND A BEAR.

Yes, we were in the garden once more: and, to escape that horrid discordant voice, we hurried indoors, and found ourselves in the library--Uggug blubbering, the Professor standing by with a bewildered air, and my Lady, with her arms clasped round her son's neck, repeating, over and over again, "and did they give him nasty lessons to learn? My own pretty pet!""What's all this noise about?" the Vice-warden angrily enquired, as he strode into the room."And who put the hat-stand here?"And he hung his hat up on Bruno, who was standing in the middle of the room, too much astonished by the sudden change of scene to make any attempt at removing it, though it came down to his shoulders, making him look something like a small candle with a large extinguisher over it.

The Professor mildly explained that His Highness had been graciously pleased to say he wouldn't do his lessons.

"Do your lessons this instant, you young cub!" thundered the Vice-Warden.

"And take this!" and a resounding box on the ear made the unfortunate Professor reel across the room.

"Save me!" faltered the poor old man, as he sank, half-fainting, at my Lady's feet.

"Shave you? Of course I will!" my Lady replied, as she lifted him into a chair, and pinned an anti-macassar round his neck.

"Where's the razor?"

The Vice-Warden meanwhile had got hold of Uggug, and was belabouring him with his umbrella."Who left this loose nail in the floor?" he shouted, "Hammer it in, I say!

Hammer it in!" Blow after blow fell on the writhing Uggug, till he dropped howling to the floor.

[Image...'Hammer it in!']

Then his father turned to the 'shaving' scene which was being enacted, and roared with laughter."Excuse me, dear, I ca'n't help it!"he said as soon as he could speak."You are such an utter donkey!

Kiss me, Tabby!"

And he flung his arms round the neck of the terrified Professor, who raised a wild shriek., but whether he received the threatened kiss or not I was unable to see, as Bruno, who had by this time released himself from his extinguisher, rushed headlong out of the room, followed by Sylvie; and I was so fearful of being left alone among all these crazy creatures that I hurried after them.

We must go to Father!" Sylvie panted, as they ran down the garden.

"I'm sure things are at their worst! I'll ask the Gardener to let us out again.""But we ca'n't walk all the way!" Bruno whimpered."How I wiss we had a coach-and-four, like Uncle!"And, shrill and wild, rang through the air the familiar voice:--"He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four That stood beside his bed:

He looked again, and found it was A Bear without a Head.

'Poor thing,' he said, 'poor silly thing!

It's waiting to be fed!'"

[Image...A bear without a head]

"No, I ca'n't let you out again!" he said, before the children could speak."The Vice-warden gave it me, he did, for letting you out last time! So be off with you!" And, turning away from them, he began digging frantically in the middle of a gravel-walk, singing, over and over again, "'Poor thing,' he said, 'poor silly thing! It's waiting to be fed!'" but in a more musical tone than the shrill screech in which he had begun.

The music grew fuller and richer at every moment: other manly voices joined in the refrain: and soon I heard the heavy thud that told me the boat had touched the beach, and the harsh grating of the shingle as the men dragged it up.I roused myself, and, after lending them a hand in hauling up their boat, I lingered yet awhile to watch them disembark a goodly assortment of the hard-won 'treasures of the deep.'

When at last I reached our lodgings I was tired and sleepy, and glad enough to settle down again into the easy-chair, while Arthur hospitably went to his cupboard, to get me out some cake and wine, without which, he declared, he could not, as a doctor, permit my going to bed.

And how that cupboard-door did creak! It surely could not be Arthur, who was opening and shutting it so often, moving so restlessly about, and muttering like the soliloquy of a tragedy-queen!

No, it was a female voice.Also the figure half-hidden by the cupboard-door--was a female figure, massive, and in flowing robes, Could it be the landlady? The door opened, and a strange man entered the room.

"What is that donkey doing?" he said to himself, pausing, aghast, on the threshold.

The lady, thus rudely referred to, was his wife.She had got one of the cupboards open, and stood with her back to him, smoothing down a sheet of brown paper on one of the shelves, and whispering to herself "So, so! Deftly done! Craftily contrived!"Her loving husband stole behind her on tiptoe, and tapped her on the head."Boh!" he playfully shouted at her ear."Never tell me again Ica'n't say 'boh' to a goose!"

My Lady wrung her hands."Discovered!" she groaned."Yet no--he is one of us! Reveal it not, oh Man! Let it bide its time!""Reveal what not?" her husband testily replied, dragging out the sheet of brown paper."What are you hiding here, my Lady? I insist upon knowing!"My Lady cast down her eyes, and spoke in the littlest of little voices.

"Don't make fun of it, Benjamin!" she pleaded."It's--it's---don't you understand? It's a DAGGER!""And what's that for?" sneered His Excellency."We've only got to make people think he's dead! We haven't got to kill him! And made of tin, too!" he snarled, contemptuously bending the blade round his thumb.

Now, Madam, you'll be good enough to explain.First, what do you call me Benjamin for?""It's part of the Conspiracy, Love! One must have an alias, you know--""Oh, an alias, is it? Well! And next, what did you get this dagger for?

Come, no evasions! You ca'n't deceive me!"

"I got it for--for--for--" the detected Conspirator stammered, trying her best to put on the assassin-expression that she had been practising at the looking-glass."For--""For what, Madam!"

"Well, for eighteenpence, if you must know, dearest! That's what I got it for, on my--""Now don't say your Word and Honour!" groaned the other Conspirator.

同类推荐
  • 达磨大师悟性论

    达磨大师悟性论

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 南游记旧

    南游记旧

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • On the Decay of the Art of Lying

    On the Decay of the Art of Lying

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 佛说宝网经

    佛说宝网经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 释门归敬仪护法记

    释门归敬仪护法记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 剑走天下

    剑走天下

    铁村的老王有个长孙叫做王拓也,王拓也想让老王教他铸剑,可是老王却死活不同意,也不肯说里面的原因,王拓也喜欢村里一户人家的姑娘,叫做李若兰,可是老王却不同意王拓也和李若兰在一起;就在王拓也想着带李若兰私奔的时候,突然发现了一个昏迷的男子,王拓也立刻回家通知老王救人,于是王拓也和老王两个人把昏迷的男子带回了自己的家中,可就在这个时候,王拓也和老王竟然在男子的身上······
  • 仙灵花圃

    仙灵花圃

    一念起,便是一生忆。花与叶,长梦两相依。一生情,便作一世尘。爱与恨,缘何两别离?轮回三千转,春花秋月冬雪尽,只愿相伴永相随。(注:本文为平行架空,一切和现实无关,请不要联系和现实想太多,只为搏君一笑,考据党们勿究(⊙o⊙)哦,小天使,爱你们么么哒╭(╯ε╰)╮)
  • 都市巨灵神

    都市巨灵神

    你是赌神?很牛么?我有世界上最强大的千术—超级记忆力,在我面前你就是个渣。你是象人族第一高手?力量强大到无人能比?我笑了,你居然和巨人比力量。你还会捡漏?用得着这么麻烦么?我就算是地上随便捡块石头,都能卖上十万八万的,咱靠的不是眼力,咱靠的是面子,我说它是价值连城的玉石,谁敢说不?失恋男陈大胜意外获得上古巨灵族的传承,成为地球上唯一一个巨灵族后裔,展开了华丽的逆袭。
  • The Spirit of the Border

    The Spirit of the Border

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 我真的不是大师兄

    我真的不是大师兄

    看主人公,问天,从一个小小的屌丝如何在陌生的大都市,又弱到强,一步一步用自己的异能打造属于自己的帝国世界,最后统一了整个大陆,创造了新的世界
  • 从崩坏开始旅行

    从崩坏开始旅行

    因为一场车祸,导致他变得冷血无情,直到回到她的身边后,才明白自己过去所做的一切让她多么的痛苦。夜羽:为了你,我愿意与全世界为敌……崩坏世界、从零开始的异世界生活、学战都市、约会大作战、火影、恶魔高校、Re:creators、神印王座、魔改刀剑神域。
  • 中国梦实现的根本法保障

    中国梦实现的根本法保障

    宪法序言申明的建设富强、民主、文明的社会主义国家是经济、政治、社会、文化与生态文明五位一体的指导方针。人民代表大会制度等诸项制度体现人民当家作主,是道路、理论与制度自信的宪法阐释。人权尊重构成国权之目的,确保人民福祉与执政党的合法性。为实现这一深沉梦想,须尊重宪法,恪守宪法职责,推进宪法实施。
  • 拯救异世危机

    拯救异世危机

    末日是真的?穿越了?玄幻了?习武?修魂?不是说没有生物魂吗?为什么我的魂会有一个蛋!契合魂兽?魂兽化行?!怎么自己就那么好命的契合到万年的化形魂兽!大陆上有潜在危机?难道自己穿越而来又要面临末日危险?看花痴女如何在京哈大陆混得风生水起。。。
  • 大唐盛世么少妃

    大唐盛世么少妃

    这年头,是个穿越的年代。迟小么的朋友安娜苏穿到明朝去把朱允文拐回来后,听安娜苏描述得,那古代实在太美好了,珍珠美玉黄金白银取之不竭,一人之下万人之上!迟小么是眼红得不行,一向鄙视穿越的她忽然也很想穿越一把到古代混个小妃子赚点小钱花花!
  • 都市绝品妖孽

    都市绝品妖孽

    挥动铁拳,在这在危机四伏的都市内,打出一片天空!PS:新书已发,美女总裁的超能狂兵,欢迎大家支持!