登陆注册
5243000000122

第122章 CHAPTER XIX(10)

I realize that you will find wealth, luxury, and lavish love. I know that I may lose you forever, and if it is right and best for you, I hope I will. I know exactly what I am risking, but I yet say, go."

"I don't see how you can, and love me as you prove you do."

"That is a little streak of the inevitableness of nature that the forest has ground into my soul. I'd rather cut off my right hand than take yours with it, in the parting that will come in the morning; but you are going, and I am sending you. So long as I am shaped like a human being, it is in me to dignify the possession of a vertical spine by acting as nearly like a man as Iknow how. I insist that you are my wife, because it crucifies me to think otherwise. I tell you to-night, Ruth, you are not and never have been. You are free as air. You married me without any love for me in your heart, and you pretended none. It was all my doing. If I find that I was wrong, I will free you without a thought of results to me. I am a secondary proposition.

I thought then that you were alone and helpless, and before the Almighty, I did the best I could. But Iknow now that you are entitled to the love of relatives, wealth, and high social position, no doubt. If I allowed the passion in my heart to triumph over the reason of my brain, and worked on your feelings and tied you to the woods, without knowing but that you might greatly prefer that other life you do not know, but to which you are entitled, I would go out and sink myself in Loon Lake."

"David, I love you. I do not want to go. Please, please let me remain with you."

"Not if you could say that realizing what it means, and give me the kiss right now I would stake my soul to win! Not by any bribe you can think of or any allurement you can offer. It is right that you go to those suffering old people. It is right you know what you are refusing for me, before you renounce it. It is right you take the position to which you are entitled, until you understand thoroughly whether this suits you better. When you know that life as well as this, the people you will meet as intimately as me, then you can decide for all time, and I can look you in the face with honest, unwavering eye; and if by any chance your heart is in the woods, and you prefer me and the cabin to what they have to offer----to all eternity your place here is vacant, Ruth. My love is waiting for you;and if you come under those conditions, I never can have any regret. A clear conscience is worth restraining passion a few months to gain, and besides, I always have got the fact to face that when you say `I love,' and when I say `I love,' it means two entirely different things.

When you realize that the love of man for woman, and woman for man, is a thing that floods the heart, brain, soul, and body with a wonderful and all-pervading ecstasy, and if I happen to be the man who makes you realize it, then come tell me, and we will show God and His holy angels what earth means by the Heaven inspired word, `radiance.' "

"David, there never will be any other man like you."

"The exigencies of life must develop many a finer and better."

"You still refuse me? You yet believe I do not love you?"

"Not with the love I ask, my girl. But if I did not believe it was germinating in your heart, and that it would come pouring over me in a torrent some glad day, Idoubt if I could allow you to go, Ruth! I am like any other man in selfishness and in the passions of the body."

"Selfishness! You haven't an idea what it means," said the Girl. "And what you call love----there Ihaven't. But I know how to appreciate you, and you may be positively sure that it will be only a few days until I will come back to you."

"But I don't want you until you can bring the love I crave. I am sending you to remain until that time, Ruth."

"But it may be months, Man!"

"Then stay months."

"But it may be----"

"It may be never! Then remain forever. That will be proof positive that your happiness does not lie in my hands."

"Why should I not consider you as you do me?"

"Because I love you, and you do not love me."

"You are cruel to yourself and to me. You talk about the pain in the world. What about the pain in my heart right now? And if I know you in the least, one degree more would make you cry aloud for mercy. Oh David, are we of no consideration at all?"

The muscles of the Harvester's face twisted an instant.

"This is where we lop off the small branches to grow perfect fruit later. This is where we do evil that good may result. This is where we suffer to-night in order we may appreciate fully the joy of love's dawning. If Iam causing you pain, forgive me, dear heart. I would give my life to prevent it, but I am powerless. It is right! We cannot avoid doing it, if we ever would be happy."

He picked up the Girl, and held her crushed in his arms a long time. Then he set her inside her door and said, "Lay out what you want to take and I will help you pack, so that you can get some sleep. We must be ready early in the morning."

When the clothing to be worn was selected, the new trunk packed, and all arrangements made, the Girl sat in his arms before the fire as he had held her when she was ill, and then he sent her to bed and went to the lake shore to fight it out alone. Only God and the stars and the faithful Belshazzar saw the agony of a strong man in his extremity.

Near dawn he heard the tinkle of the bell and went to receive his message and order a car for morning.

Then he returned to the merciful darkness of night, and paced the driveway until light came peeping over the tree tops. He prepared breakfast and an hour later put the Girl on the train, and stood watching it until the last rift of smoke curled above the spires of the city.

同类推荐
  • 清文精选

    清文精选

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 集大乘相论

    集大乘相论

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 大方等大云经

    大方等大云经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 欧阳修词集评

    欧阳修词集评

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 宗四分比丘随门要略行仪

    宗四分比丘随门要略行仪

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 这里曾经是汉朝4

    这里曾经是汉朝4

    《这里曾经是汉朝》第四部从霍光重权在握,选拔汉朝新天子刘贺写起,到汉朝王氏及傅氏两大外戚争宠夺利为止。霍光扳倒上官桀等人后,集大权于一身,物色刘贺为汉朝皇帝。然而,刘贺登基以后,因为政治思想欠成熟,胡作非为,霍光迫不得已,将之废掉。没想到,苦命孩子刘病已却因此迎来了人生的春天,被迎入宫登基,君临天下。可是,刘病已在霍光病逝以后,非但没有感激霍氏的提携之恩,反而高悬利剑,一下子将霍氏家族的生死存亡推到了风口浪尖之上。
  • 明伦汇编人事典忧乐部

    明伦汇编人事典忧乐部

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 御龙圣心

    御龙圣心

    草根逆袭,乱世枭雄,闯出一片天!集奇幻修真、浴血奋战、斗智斗勇于一体,在山河破碎的不利形势中勇挑重担,救民于水火,还百姓一片安宁天下。
  • 罗素:唤起少年中国

    罗素:唤起少年中国

    1920年,罗素来到中国作了一年的讲学,对中国文化及中国人的思维方式、性格特征、行为习惯作了大量深入的考察和研究,他以自己特有的睿智、远见和洞察力,对传统的中国文化和文明作了深层的分析、透视,站在全人类文明进步的高度,评析了中西文明的特征、优劣和价值。他当时在中国各地的演讲以及回国后不久就出版的有关中国的著作(后来结集为《东西方文明比较》),受到我国进步人士的热情欢迎和赞赏。孙中山先生称他是“唯一了解中国的外国人”。在20世纪20年代,也是中华民族多灾多难的年代,罗素对未来中国的走向作了许多天才的预言。本书从这一角度摘选了罗素的众多言论以及同时代中国名家对其的评价。
  • 晋级请接单

    晋级请接单

    白露应聘了一家来自未来的公司,去各个时空替客户弥补遗憾。但是上司为什么没告诉她:任务中会有这么多的极品!奇葩!八点档!好无奈+好抓狂当然,重点是—没有金手指!没有无敌拽炸天!总之,这是一个勤勤恳恳的女主,踏踏实实地去各个时空完成客户委托任务的故事。白莲花、熊孩子、盲山拐卖、娱乐圈、知青下乡、古堡探险、丧尸围城……超强现实感+超强代入感,快和女主一起去冒险吧!(非典型打脸爽文的快穿,女主初期比较弱,后面会逐步成长)
  • 竹马强势来袭:青梅哪里逃

    竹马强势来袭:青梅哪里逃

    小时候的他有什么好的,不就是一自命清高的闷骚男嘛!可是,重点是,她就是一根筋了,整天围着他转......时隔多年,当他再次出现在她眼前时,她终于看清事实的真相了,这分明就是闷骚腹黑的不定时炸弹!所以,保持距离?可是,每次他都能让她好不容易建立起来的心理防线瞬间崩溃!她终于彻底沦陷......出人意料的是,最后,放弃了他们之间的爱情的人是,她!当她风云回归时,他是否还能在原地等候?.
  • 病王盛宠:祸世逆天狂妃

    病王盛宠:祸世逆天狂妃

    她是二十一世纪的医界传人,享有医仙之称,一根银针,一个手环,妙手回春,一朝穿越,竟到了一个异世大陆,强者为尊,还有什么,"天生废根?""开玩笑,堂堂医仙会让自己是废材?"再次睁眸,她医术绝伦,天赋卓绝。"叶千裳,叶氏家族养你十五年,现在也该懂得知恩图报了。’"知恩图报,可笑。我要让你们后悔今日把我当牺牲品,他是你们永远得不到的珍宝……
  • 正一法文传都功威仪

    正一法文传都功威仪

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 人力资源开发与管理

    人力资源开发与管理

    本书内容包括:人力资源开发与管理导论、人力资源规划、工作分析、人员招聘与配置、人员培训与开发、绩效考评与管理、员工激励、薪酬管理、劳动关系管理等。
  • 山西民居与饮食

    山西民居与饮食

    山西民居和饮食生活是中华民族民俗文化的重要组成部分,也是黄河文化中有代表性的特定地区文化类型之一,展现着别具一格的地方味道和风情。