The Aviator and Tarleton come in through the pavilion, followed by Lord Summerhays and Bentley, the Aviator on Tarleton's right. Bentley passes the Aviator and turns to have an admiring look at him. Lord Summerhays overtakes Tarleton less pointedly on the opposite side with the same object.
THE AVIATOR. I'm really very sorry. I'm afraid Ive knocked your vinery into a cocked hat. (Effusively) You dont mind, do you?
TARLETON. Not a bit. Come in and have some tea. Stay to dinner.
Stay over the week-end. All my life Ive wanted to fly.
THE AVIATOR. [taking off his goggles] Youre really more than kind.
BENTLEY. Why, its Joey Percival.
PERCIVAL. Hallo, Ben! That you?
TARLETON. What! The man with three fathers!
PERCIVAL. Oh! has Ben been talking about me?
TARLETON. Consider yourself as one of the family--if you will do me the honor. And your friend too. Wheres your friend?
PERCIVAL. Oh, by the way! before he comes in: let me explain. Idont know him.
TARLETON. Eh?
PERCIVAL. Havnt even looked at him. I'm trying to make a club record with a passenger. The club supplied the passenger. He just got in;and Ive been too busy handling the aeroplane to look at him. I havnt said a word to him; and I cant answer for him socially; but hes an ideal passenger for a flyer. He saved me from a smash.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. I saw it. It was extraordinary. When you were thrown out he held on to the top bar with one hand. You came past him in the air, going straight for the glass. He caught you and turned you off into the flower bed, and then lighted beside you like a bird.
PERCIVAL. How he kept his head I cant imagine. Frankly, I didnt.
The Passenger, also begoggled, comes in through the pavilion with Johnny and the two ladies. The Passenger comes between Percival and Tarleton, Mrs Tarleton between Lord Summerhays and her husband, Hypatia between Percival and Bentley, and Johnny to Bentley's right.
TARLETON. Just discussing your prowess, my dear sir. Magnificent.
Youll stay to dinner. Youll stay the night. Stay over the week. The Chickabiddy will be delighted.
MRS TARLETON. Wont you take off your goggles and have some tea?
The Passenger begins to remove the goggles.
TARLETON. Do. Have a wash. Johnny: take the gentleman to your room: I'll look after Mr Percival. They must--By this time the passenger has got the goggles off, and stands revealed as a remarkably good-looking woman.
MRS TARLETON. |Well I never!!! |||BENTLEY. |[in a whisper] Oh, I say! |||JOHNNY.|By George! ||| All LORD SUMMERHAYS|A lady! | to-|| gether.
HYPATIA. |A woman!|||TARLETON. |[to Percival] You never told me-- |||PERCIVAL. |I hadnt the least idea--|An embarrassed pause.
PERCIVAL. I assure you if I'd had the faintest notion that my passenger was a lady I shouldnt have left you to shift for yourself in that selfish way.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. The lady seems to have shifted for both very effectually, sir.
PERCIVAL. Saved my life. I admit it most gratefully.
TARLETON. I must apologize, madam, for having offered you the civilities appropriate to the opposite sex. And yet, why opposite?
We are all human: males and females of the same species. When the dress is the same the distinction vanishes. I'm proud to receive in my house a lady of evident refinement and distinction. Allow me to introduce myself: Tarleton: John Tarleton (seeing conjecture in the passenger's eye)--yes, yes: Tarleton's Underwear. My wife, Mrs Tarleton: youll excuse me for having in what I had taken to be a confidence between man and man alluded to her as the Chickabiddy. My daughter Hypatia, who has always wanted some adventure to drop out of the sky, and is now, I hope, satisfied at last. Lord Summerhays: a man known wherever the British flag waves. His son Bentley, engaged to Hypatia. Mr Joseph Percival, the promising son of three highly intellectual fathers.
HYPATIA. [startled] Bentley's friend? [Bentley nods].
TARLETON. [continuing, to the passenger] May I now ask to be allowed the pleasure of knowing your name?
THE PASSENGER. My name is Lina Szczepanowska [pronouncing it Sh-Chepanovska].
PERCIVAL. Sh-- I beg your pardon?
LINA. Szczepanowska.
PERCIVAL. [dubiously] Thank you.
TARLETON. [very politely] Would you mind saying it again?
LINA. Say fish.
TARLETON. Fish.
LINA. Say church.
TARLETON. Church.
LINA. Say fish church.
TARLETON. [remonstrating] But it's not good sense.
LINA. [inexorable] Say fish church.
TARLETON. Fish church.
LINA. Again.
TARLETON. No, but--[resigning himself] fish church.
LINA. Now say Szczepanowska.
TARLETON. Szczepanowska. Got it, by Gad. [A sibilant whispering becomes audible: they are all saying Sh-ch to themselves].
Szczepanowska! Not an English name, is it?
LINA. Polish. I'm a Pole.
TARLETON. Ah yes. Interesting nation. Lucky people to get the government of their country taken off their hands. Nothing to do but cultivate themselves. Same as we took Gibraltar off the hands of the Spaniards. Saves the Spanish taxpayer. Jolly good thing for us if the Germans took Portsmouth. Sit down, wont you?
The group breaks up. Johnny and Bentley hurry to the pavilion and fetch the two wicker chairs. Johnny gives his to Lina. Hypatia and Percival take the chairs at the worktable. Lord Summerhays gives the chair at the vestibule end of the writing table to Mrs Tarleton; and Bentley replaces it with a wicker chair, which Lord Summerhays takes.
Johnny remains standing behind the worktable, Bentley behind his father.
MRS TARLETON. [to Lina] Have some tea now, wont you?
LINA. I never drink tea.
TARLETON. [sitting down at the end of the writing table nearest Lina] Bad thing to aeroplane on, I should imagine. Too jumpy. Been up much?
LINA. Not in an aeroplane. Ive parachuted; but thats child's play.
MRS TARLETON. But arnt you very foolish to run such a dreadful risk?
LINA. You cant live without running risks.
MRS TARLETON. Oh, what a thing to say! Didnt you know you might have been killed?
LINA. That was why I went up.
